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PLAY DOWN RELIGION IN YOUR SEARCH FOR LIFE PARTNER----BY ANDREW ADEDAYO ADETOYE

When looking for someone to marry, don't place emphasis on looking for a man or woman that is GOD-fearing. You cannot know and you cannot ascertain if someone fears GOD or not. I know this is contrary to what we have been taught at our various worship places. Only GOD knows those who fear HIM. It is a deeply spiritual matter which our finite brain cannot comprehend. Religion and the fear of GOD are two different things. There are people who appeared to be GOD-fearing yesterday, but today you wonder if they have ever known GOD. The fear of GOD must be consistent into the future, and that is what makes it difficult, if not impossible, to know if a person fears GOD or not. The human heart is unpredictable, pretentious and hypocritical. The process of reforming it is beyond all of us. It is GOD's own business.

There is nothing wrong about marriage. It is the entry point that is of concern here. You should play down religion in your search of a life partner. The only thing that should make sense is that you both share the same faith at the current moment. That will help. Whether he/she fears GOD or not is beyond you to know. As a lady, when a man targeting you knows you want a man that is GOD-fearing, he will pretend to be one. As a guy, when a lady targeting you knows you want a woman that is GOD-fearing, she will pretend to be one. You must play it down. Instead, when looking for a life partner, consider other factors like, shared interest, shared values, what is he/she is doing now that has future implication, does he/she respect his/her parents and siblings, does he/she respect people generally, do you love this person and does the person love you back, do you resolve conflict amicably when dating or are you always the one going to beg and ask for reconciliation, etc,

And let me quickly add this for the ladies; a guy that is always giving you money but finds it difficult to help someone else in need will one day stop giving you when he has gotten what he wants from you. To such a guy, giving is not a lifestyle but a means to an end. He belongs to the school of thought that says that if you want to get a lady, shower her with gifts and money. Much as I think ladies are worthy of money and gifts in a relationship, I also think that should not becloud the sound judgement of the lady concern. Money and gifts and favor can be very deceitful. Learn to use your GOD-given intuition here and always.

Getting married to someone comes with the risk of the unknown. Remaining Single also has its inherent risk. It takes courage to marry someone you don't fully know. whose future preferences you cannot determine. It takes courage also to remain Single in the midst of a society that frowns at it. At the end of the day, it will come down to Choice. You decide what is most appropriate for your life. If you know how to pray, then take prayer seriously, so that the Invisible Hand of GOD can direct the affairs of your life, including marital decision. If you have made mistakes already, it's never late to pick yourself back up again.

If you want to ask me questions or share some thoughts, please feel free to call me on 07085964956 [Nigeria] and +2347085964956 [For callers outside Nigeria.

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