DON'T MARRY SOMEONE WITH THE INTENTION TO CHANGE HIM/HER.---BY ANDREW ADEDAYO ADETOYE.

It will be an exercise in futility if you ever think that you can marry someone and then change the person's behavioural patterns, taste, interest and personality. People don't change that easily. The pre-wedding presumption that one can 'overhaul' one's partner's personality in marriage is a delusion that has brought so much frustration and hopelessness to many couples.

In a bid to get two people wedded by all means, even when they hardly get along during courtship, it is common to hear family and friends say, ''Let them marry. Things will sort themselves out later and they will just be fine.'' The bitter truth is that if the guy and the lady find it difficult to relate well during courtship, it is very doubtful that they will find harmony in marriage. This is one of the factors responsible for the rising divorce rate.

Let it be said that Love is NOT blind. Never! Love sees but chooses to overlook. When you think that your partner will change his/her behaviour after wedding, then you have allowed your Love to go blind. You must take responsibility for your Love decisions. And that includes accepting your partner as he/she is, Love him/her completely and let your shared interest and shared values over-ride the behavioural faults. It is better not to marry someone than to think that you can change him/her after wedding.

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