''...She was and is still my daily dose of life. We talked a lot...''---Pastor Femi Oyewusi Tells Andrew Adedayo Adetoye About His Wife!

Femi Oyewusi, Ohio-based Professional & Pastor, in this exclusive interview with Andrew Adedayo Adetoye, shares how he met and proposed to his darling wife, his view on trial marriage, dating today, sex and much more. 

                                                                  Femi

Tell us about yourself. Who is Pastor Femi Oyewusi?

Femi: 
I was born into a family of 6, and the last-born. I graduated from the University of Ibadan, I am a servant of God, preaching the undiluted word of God for over 20years now, married to my beautiful wife for 14years and 5months now. Blessed with 2 wonderful children. We founded and pastor the Joshuas Generation Church in Columbus Ohio. My wife is also a cake maker. I used to work as Network Administrator and also did Global sourcing. 


What was your childhood like growing up?

Femi: 
I grew up an unbeliever, did all the bad things boys did, smoked, drank, did some drugs, womanized, had a lot of bad friends, But thank God, I got saved in the December of 1989, and since then I have been hungry for the Lord. I got saved at Scripture pasture Christian center, and was an usher there until 1992, when I joined Rhema Chapel, and was youth Pastor until I relocated to Lagos and still continued to serve in Rhema in various capacities.  I relocated to the US and worked construction for some time, before becoming Resident Pastor of Overcomers Christian ministry and from there founded Joshuas Generation Church.

Who are your top 3 favorite authors?

Femi:
S. Clason. Robert Shuller. John Maxwell.


What are your top 3 favorite books?

Femi:

The richest man in Babylon. Tough times never last. The 21 indispensable qualities of a leader.

How long have you been married?

Femi:

14years and five months/

                                              Femi & Wife, Remi

If you are to describe your wife in 3 words, what would they be?

Femi:

God fearing, Loving, Beautiful.

Recall when you first met your wife. Tell us about it.

Femi:

I met my wife in church while serving as youth pastor, she was in my youth group but never noticed her until one day during church service that the Holy Spirit pointed her out to me and told me she was going to be my wife. As a man under authority I told my senior pastor about the encounter with the Holy Spirit and He told me not to tell her, but to go and pray about it. I prayed about it and was at peace, then six month later I was informed that one of my group members was sick, and as such I went on visitation with another sister and a brother, and on getting there it was the person the Holy Spirit told about, and from then we became friends and later I proposed and she accepted.( The key was that the Holy Spirit told me she was going to be my wife and she did, But I was patient and waited for the right time).

                                                         Femi & Wife, Remi

How did your first date with your wife go? Tell us about it.

Femi:

I don’t really recall the first date, because my wife was not the outgoing type and neither was I , So if memory serves me right, I think our first date was just a visit to her room and spending time to talk about who we are and what we want from life and I recalled we talked for almost 8 hours. She grilled me about who I was and what I wanted to become in life, and how I was going to achieve that goal.

How important is love in a relationship leading to marriage

Femi:

In other to understand the importance of love in a relationship, you need to know the meaning of love, and simply put “ God is love”.  If you both love God truly first, it will be easy to love one another. We are made to love and be loved. We both love God and because of that we love each other, when one is out of line, you tell God, and because we love God, he deals with us. Example, One day I got mad at my wife and I went out, on my way the Holy Spirit told me to go back and apologize but refused, that day my vehicle lost its brake and I was almost involved in an accident. I immediately went back to my wife to apologize.

                                                    

                                                  Femi & Wife, Remi

How did you propose to your wife? Paint the picture.

Femi:

I trusted the Holy Ghost, because then I sensed that she was going to give me a tough time in accepting, so one day I picked her up and we where on our way to the Senior Pastor’s house, and a few minutes to getting there, I gave her the first card, just telling her how much I love her, then I gave her the second card that says she means the world to me, then I gave her the 3^rd card telling her I cannot live without her, and then I asked her to marry me, and since we were close to the house she said yes, and when we got there we announced our intentions.

What is the fondest memory you have about your wife when dating her?

Femi:

Truthful and would not hold back any thing that needed to be said, always encouraging and motivating, a selfless giver. Could not wake up properly without hearing her voice and can not sleep without talking to her. She was and is still my daily dose of life. We talked a lot, sometimes for 8 hours stretch.

                                               Femi & His Family

Looking back now, if there is anything you wish you did differently while dating your wife, what will that be?

Femi:

Take her out more, give her gifts everyday and just tell her daily how much I love her.

Is it normal for guys to be nervous on their first date?

Femi:

Absolutely, because you have no idea what is going to happen? Rejection or acceptance. You don’t know if you can impress her

What is your assessment of how young people go about dating today?

Femi:

Its really bad, because most go into dating just for sex, its no more out of love. They need to show love more. Sex is only for the married. If he will not take you to the alter, he should not have sex with you. No wedding ring, no sex.

                                                     Femi Standing With His Choir

Under what circumstance is it tolerable for anyone to marry someone he/she doesn’t love?

Femi:

If there is no chance of the love growing, then it is not advisable to marry someone you don’t love or intend to love.

What is your view on trial marriage? Can a man and woman live together for a year or two before deciding on getting married?

Femi:

Absolutely not, that is Sin. This is Fornication and it is sin.

What is parenting like to you? Is it fun? Is it challenging?

Femi:

Its both fun and challenging, because children are different and as they grow they exhibit different behaviors. You need to know when to be the parent and when to be their friend.

Should single people really bother about parenting issues as they plan on getting married?

Femi:

Yes, yes, yes, for example my wife and I talked about how we were going to raise our children before we got married. We set some ground rules and developed our parenting guidelines.

                                                Femi & Wife, Remi

Tell us about some of your marital challenges. How did you handle them?

Femi:

I had to protect my wife from my family, I made it clear that every one needed to treat her right, I did not leave her at their mercy, I was quick to say no for her to them. Also we had to work out our schedules as to taking care of the children. Chores in our house was everybody’s responsibility. We have learnt to talk about everything; we always settle every situation the same day. Be quick to apologize. Men should learn to listen to their wives; it will save you a lot of heartache.

Who is your role model?

Femi:

My parents.

Who is more romantic, you or your wife?

Femi:

My wife.

How do you balance life as a father, husband, pastor and professional?

Femi:

I am a pastor when at work or in the church, and as soon as I get my kids from school,I become Dad, and once we get home I am the husband and father. I try not to bring my job home, separate work and home. Spend time to play and go out with the family. Have family nights. Do your work if you have to at home when every one is sleeping.

Is sex a big deal in marriage?

Femi:

YES, the more intimate you are with your spouse the closer you become with one another.

What do you say to very busy couples who barely have enough time to make love?

Femi:

Find time or else before you know, you will drift apart and fall out of love. Find time, if need be, call off work together just to be together.

How do you relax?

Femi:

Playing with my family, movie night, road trips, and vacation away from home. Dine out, and of course video games together.

What is usually the last thing your wife says to you before saying ‘’Goodnight’’ each day?

Femi:

I love you.

How important is communication in marriage?

Femi:

Marriages that lack communication will eventually fall apart. My wife and I communicate regularly all day long, I let her know every thing I do and intend to do daily, she knows my whereabouts through out the day, and likewise. We ensure that we understand what each person is saying.

                                                   Femi & His Family

What is your favorite food?

Femi:

Rice and plantain with vegetable.

Pastor Femi Oyewusi's favorite quote:
"People who lack understanding of your revelation will criticize your actions" .