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OPEN DIARY: HOW I COPE AS A SINGLE LADY.

Article received from Nancy Ozioma [ Author, ''FRUITS FOR HEALTHY LIVING''. ]


As a single lady I understand that there are  lots to do with my singlesness. I try to be myself, not allowing anything trendy to distract me.

We live in a society where everyone believes that if you are not married there are still vacuum in your life. Well, they are not far from the truth. But the truth is that the result you are going to get in your marriage start with how you manage your single life. God has given everyone talents to succeed. It now depend on how we use it. One of them is how you live your life as a single lady. Singlehood is a gift, but it depends on how you manage it.


There are three things that I keep in mind to enable me  cope as a single lady.
·        I believe in myself.
·        I define my relationship – purpose
·        Focus

1.   I believe in myself because I realized that “no one is a failure”. We all have all it takes to succeed in life. As a  single lady you must have the “self-confidence” in you. Self-confidence is the in-built ability that says, 'I can do it', no matter the circumstance . This is what has kept me going as a single lady. I see a lot of single ladies who do not have self-confidence and as a result of this, they fall to anything that comes their way. I met a lady that is in her late 20s and she became so worried about her age. I told her that she should be herself and believe in herself. To God be the glory she got married at her early 30s to her dream man. You too can do same; just believe in yourself.

2.   Purpose is the reason behind everything we do. In every relationship I found myself, I try as much as possible to define it. The reason is simple. “without purpose in relationship, abuse is inevitable”. There are  business relationship, academic relationship, social relationship, romantic relationship, family relationship etc.  In all these, you must understand if you want your relationship to work out. I am someone that get easily  attracted to people and I have a lot of relationships mentioned above that is working. But there is this one that taught me a bitter lesson. In early 2000, I found myself in friendship with a guy. We were so close to each other that we could not do anything without each other. Both families new about this relationship because it was working for us. We became familiar with each other that my friend took it to another level of relationship, romantic to be precise. It did not go down well with me, but I could not stop it. We entered into romantic relationship, I tell you, it was abuse throughout and at the end, it did not work out. I see  heart break, disappointment, among single ladies because we fail to define our relationships. To avoid heartbreak and disappointment, define your relationship before entering into it. If you are into relationship, do not miss it with romantic one verse-versa. If you are already in a relationship, ask yourself what is your purpose in that relationship. What do you really want to  achieve with it.

3.   The opposite of focus is distraction. You can be distracted if you are not focused. The truth is that there are some people we meet in our lives that are just a distraction to us. Some are there to slow our pace down. Focus will help to check-mate this. I know what I want in my life now, so I do not fall to any man that comes my way any more. There is a price that comes with focus. You can not pay it and not enjoy your marriage. Most single ladies today want already made partner. They just want to get married without putting what matters into consideration and that is why we have  marriages that are not working. I chose to be focused so that I can enjoy my marriage. I have paid my dues. Focus is the KEY!

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